Unusual or Aggressive Behaviour
As dementia progresses a person’s emotions can be affected. Their behaviour can also be greatly changed with periods of physical and verbal aggression, restlessness, repetitive behaviour or a lack of inhibitions. Sometimes these phases can last for a long time or they may just be fleeting. If, as their carer, you are prepared it can make managing them much less stressful.
To manage these changes and make the most of the good times is an important part of being a carer. There are ways to cope with unusual behaviour, although some aspects of these behaviours can become so irritating that it may be advisable to leave the room or count to ten. It is important to remember that it is the dementia that causes these changes and that the person with dementia has no control over this. They may, at times, have an awareness that their behaviour is unusual so they may need reassurance in coping with the emotions that they feel because of this. All behaviour has a reason, but sometimes it can be very difficult to understand what this might be, especially when someone you have known for a long time seems to be acting out of character.
Aggressive behaviour, particularly from a loved one, can be especially difficult to deal with. Aggression is often caused by frustration, and may occur when the person with dementia is trying to do something (e.g. leaving the house), and somebody tries to stop them. It is important to avoid confrontation if at all possible.
The Alzheimer's Society factsheet Aggressive behaviour has further information.
Do not be afraid to ask for professional help, e.g. from the doctor, if you are frightened that the person you care for might hurt you.
It can sometimes be helpful to talk to a carer who has managed with someone whose behaviour is difficult. They could have some useful ideas for you to try and can give you support and encouragement too. Contact your local carer support group.
Hallucinations and Delusions
Some people with dementia may experience visual or auditory hallucinations, seeing or hearing things that are not really there. Hallucinations are more common in certain types of dementia (e.g. dementia with Lewy bodies).
Delusions occur when the person with dementia develops distorted ideas about what is happening around them. These ideas may seem paranoid to those around them, but logical to the person themselves. For instance when a valuable item goes missing at home, and the person with dementia is sure they have not moved it, so looks for another explanation, e.g. it has been taken by burglars, who are out to get them. At this point even finding the item in question may not resolve the situation.
The Alzheimer's Society factsheet Hallucinations and delusions has further information, and tips for coping with these experiences.
Wandering
Some people with dementia may walk about restlessly, either within their home or going outside. Carers often describe this as "wandering", but this term has become unfashionable among dementia professionals, who are keen to acknowledge that the person themselves may be walking purposefully, even if those around them do not understand what this purpose may be.
If you would like more information about walking and dementia, Alzheimer Scotland has an interesting information sheet you can download (PDF, 148KB) called When people with dementia walk.
Relationships Information
Sex is not always a subject that is easy to talk about; the Alzheimer's Society has a helpful factsheet about Physical Intimacies (this factsheet mentions the The British Association for Counselling.
The Alzheimer's Society website also has a more general Relationships information section.
